Just got back from the doctor’s office where he had my lab results. Dude, I am a goddamned rock star. I think he kind of wanted to say something like “you should lose some weight” (because it could possibly help my headaches) but based on all of his own tests I am as healthy as the average person. In fact, out of hundreds of screenings only ONE was slightly elevated but is in the ‘borderline’ range (normal is 150, I’m at 170, concern starts at 300) so he was like ‘eh, whatevs’ and we moved on.
Heads-up, organ thieves! My liver is functioning at 100%! My kidneys are rockstars! There’s a goddamned LINE to meet my thyroid. So… if you abduct me in Mexico, be sure that you’re asking TOP DOLLAR.